And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
