Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
