You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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