How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
