I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
