I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
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she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
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nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just gargled with NyQuil
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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