Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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