Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
