didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck