you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
well, you know. whores of a feather.