I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
