are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
