she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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