she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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