I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
