ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
