so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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