Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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