Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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