There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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