Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize