I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
