I hate all girls vehemently.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
