Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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