just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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