He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
