Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't deserve a penis
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
