THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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