I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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