they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
