I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
