Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
