do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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