Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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