I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
