You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
