i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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