Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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