I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize