So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
