between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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