Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
