i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
