Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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