apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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