im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
