oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
