Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I will be naked everywhere
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
