that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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