the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
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Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
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