We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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