I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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