I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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