I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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