if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
