Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
