Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
