Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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