thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize