I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
