How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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