I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
