he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
