he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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